Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
