I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
