saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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