so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
