She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
