? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
