You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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