this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize