She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
