Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
