Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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