I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
