First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
