she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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