party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my being single is dangerous.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
