She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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