I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
