he wants to bone in the snuggie
apparently the secret to your success is patron
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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