dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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