Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
