I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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