I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
