Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
