Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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