Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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