I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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