we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
whose parrot is this?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
