what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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