Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
NoShamevember. You game?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Im part way to drunk.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
