Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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