New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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