Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
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I need you to use more vowels.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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