I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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