Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
