I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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