I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
