haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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