There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize