You really coming over, don't trick.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Screwed.edu
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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