Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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