And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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