i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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I'm way too hungover for life right now
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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