The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
