so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize