You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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