well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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