on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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