Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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