we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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