I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
