hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
