Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Acid is not a monday night drug
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
