I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
