omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
