I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
