I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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