i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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