are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
