he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
