we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
