I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
