I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
