I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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