he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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