White coat. Heels.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize