Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
