it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i think i have two assholes
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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