please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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