i think i have herpe
just one?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
