Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
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That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
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These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's shark week go big or go home
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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