Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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