I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
