whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
