He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
